


I Forgive You [Translation]

by Resa_Saso



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-21 20:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11951586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resa_Saso/pseuds/Resa_Saso
Summary: 'I forgive you.' - 'I win.' - 'You win.' - 'I know.'And inbetween, a whole eternity in flames.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [I Forgive You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10192175) by [Resa_Saso](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resa_Saso/pseuds/Resa_Saso). 



> I was asked to translate my German Doctor/Master fic. And since I only write it in German because I started in the language... Well, why not. I'll still continue both versions, but here's for the english folks that are interested, enjoy! :)  
> It'll basically cover up the whole history of the Doctor & The Master, but my version of it, so don't hit me with the canon hammer! :D

There were eyes watching him, but he barely noticed them.  
Theta’s whole attention lay upon the spectacle at the sky above him. Millions of lights, shining on the violet painted sky. Green, blue, red, silver and golden, they sparkled and gleamed, dove the Gallifreyans in mystic lights, coloured their skin with all their different mixes.  
In awe, Theta had laid back his head. His brown eyes glittered, opened wide, they absorbed all the various colours and turned them into something new, something with the power to compete with the illuminated sky above them. Completely drawn in, Koschei came closer, but the other didn’t even seem to notice him.  
Koschei, however, noticed that his mouth was half-opened, amazed and drawn to an amazed smile.  
He smiled.  
And slowly life came into Theta. His fine features grew to a bright beam and he blinked a few times incredulous, without once taking his eyes away from the lightshow above them.  
Koschei surveyed the coloured patterns on his skin, watched the soft pores that shone in rose-pastel colours and decided he was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.  
‘It’s beautiful,’ Theta whispered.  
‘Yes, isn’t it?’ Koschei replied calmly, keeping his gaze on Theta in awe.  
Theta didn’t look down.  
Koschei watched, watched, until the lights faded and the sky slowly returned back to normal, the red-violets filled with spectacles of lights were drained away by the deep black of the night. One after another, the watching students returned into their warm beds, calling it a night, the wide, tall red meadows cleared more and more, until only Theta and Koschei were left, both tangled up in their own little miracle.  
Only when the last, sparkling light had faded out, Theta noticed he wasn’t alone.  
‘Oh,’ he expelled, but Koschei just smiled softly.  
‘Where would you go?’ he wanted to know.  
His blue eyes gleamed in the starlight, his dark, tousled hair swaying in the night breeze made him look venturous.  
Theta thought about it shortly and Koschei just loved how it moved his whole, young face. His eyes darkened visibly, his lower lip got sucked in between his teeth, lost in thoughts.  
And then his whole face lit up with a huge, honest smile.  
‘I’d go wherever the lights go, when they’re not here.’  
His voice sounded like stardust in the tail of a shooting star.   
Dreamy, sparkling, free.  
 ‘We could go together.’ The words escaped Koschei before he could stop himself, his voice hoarse.  
Theta laughed faintly and it seemed to resound from the stars, an intense echo of it clung inside of Koschei’s mind  
‘I don’t even know who you are yet.’  
Koschei grinned his cheekiest grin.  
‘Liar.’  
He liked how Theta’s eyes shone in amusement while he returned his grin. He liked how dreamy and fascinated he could be by this universe, to forget the whole planet he stood on and still be firmly here and now, on the ground, aware of _him_.  
He liked what he could read on his face, hear his hearts sing, feel his thoughts tell.  
And the wry, sheepish smile he showed while speaking his name.  
‘Koschei, right?’  
Koschei felt his own smile grow without any effort.  
‘I knew it,’ he retorted grinning and admired how Theta didn’t even bother. The blonde only smiled cheekily, folded his hands behind his back and happily danced on the balls of his feet.  
‘And you are Theta.’  
It wasn’t a question, of course it wasn’t, but the blonde boy nodded jolly, didn’t let the bright smile fade from his face once.  
And Koschei never found it easier to return it.  
‘Well Theta, it seems we two share a room from today on.’  
‘What?’ he expelled and Koschei observed fascinated, how one of his curved eyebrows shot higher.  
‘Yep,’ Koschei grinned and stood a little taller. ‘I drove my old roommate to complaints with my absolute manly snoring. Turned out he’s Academy’s head boy, so…’  
He let an overacted pout appear on his face, happy that it made Theta laugh.  
‘Well, in this case I can consider myself lucky, the Academy obviously doesn’t think as high about me as they do about their head boy…’  
Koschei laughed, freely and light-hearted, and finally met Theta’s grin with his own.  
‘Theta Sigma, I think I like you.’  
That was a lie, of course. As sure as Koschei had never been before in his life, he knew he had fallen hopelessly in love.  
And when Theta replied a simple ‘I think I like you, too’, he couldn’t help but wonder, how good of a liar the other boy was.


	2. Chapter 2

‘I just can’t believe her!’  
‘Unbelievable.’  
‘I mean, who does she think she is?’  
‘Really unthinkable.’  
‘How can she do this to me? One day before the ceremony!’  
‘Impossible.’  
Theta regarded him with a dark glare. ‘In case you’re actually thinking I wouldn’t notice how you just take my verbs and turn them into adjectives – I do.’  
Koschei laughed softly and let the book sink, he had tried to read since Theta angrily stormed into their room.  
‘You have been venting about this for at least 30 minutes, I was simply running out of adjectives.’ With a slight grin he stretched out in his bed, then he sat up to look at Theta.  
‘She let me down,’ the blonde remarked tonelessly, let his narrow shoulders sink a bit. ‘She said she would go to the ceremony with me and now I’m without escort.’  
‘Okay’, Koschei sighed reluctantly. ‘I admit that was unfair. Did you ask her why?’  
‘What? Of course I have. She’s going with Ciel – Of all people – I told you tha…-‘  
‘Yes, I do recall hearing that somewhere between your breakdown and the tantrum. Still, what I meant… Did you ask her _why_ she chose to go with the idiot?’  
‘What?’ Theta repeated and stared at Koschei as if the other boy had just asked him what one and one was. ‘Because she likes him more than me, obviously.’  
‘Rubbish,’ Koschei remarked and leant his back against the wall. ‘I know for a fact that there’s no one, she likes more than you.’  
‘What, Kosch, that’s…,’ Theta stammered and Koschei noticed with thrill how his roommate’s cheeks flushed in a slight red. ‘ _That_ is rubbish. If this was true she’d go with me…’  
‘Not if she was sure you wouldn’t reciprocate the sentiment,’ Koschei explained lazily and watched amused how his young friend shook his head in denial.  
‘No,’ he finally brought out. ‘She doesn’t like me like _that_.’  
‘She likes you _exactly_ like that,’ Koschei retorted firmly. ‘Just like everyone who knows you.’  
‘Absolute rubbish,’ Theta remarked dryly.  
Koschei just shrugged and returned to his book.  
‘It’s still true,’ he murmured while turning the page.  
‘ _You_ don’t like me like that,’ Theta countered.  
Koschei snorted, laid the book aside and jumped off the bed, landing right in front of the blonde one, who was still standing in the middle of the room, watching him expectantly.  
He smiled.  
‘Oh Thete…,’ he whispered and brushed his hand through the soft, blonde hair. ‘When ever did I say I wouldn’t like you exactly like that?’  
For the first time in their conversation a spark insecurity showed in Theta’s eyes, but he quickly let it disappear again and replaced it with a look of amused incredulity.  
‘So, you like me?’ he grinned and Koschei recognized the challenging tone in his voice. His young friend thought he was messing with him just to be right.  
He smirked and replied with a composed ‘Of course’.  
Theta seemed to have to think about this for a short while, so Koschei watched him quietly, the darkened brown eyes, the frowning forehead, the chewing on his lower lip…  
Finally, Theta raised his head in a defiant gesture.  
‘Then be my escort for the ceremony.’  
‘What?’ Koschei asked and a surprised grin widened upon his face, completely against his will. ‘As a date?’  
‘As a date,’ Theta confirmed with a nod and his tone showed that Koschei’s reaction left him startled.  
‘It’s a date then!’ the dark haired grinned.  
His gaze brushed his young friend, but he didn’t seem to notice his insecurity. On his previously startled face now had grown a smile, and it was all Koschei needed to see.  
‘I’ll pick you up at seven!’  
‘Pick me up from where? We’re sharing a room and… Hey, where are you going?’  
But Koschei was already out of the room, out into their tract and shut the door behind him, happily humming.  
  
Only when it knocked on their door at point seven, Theta realized what Koschei had been talking about. With a smirk and a shake of his head he swung off his bed and opened up.  
‘You remember you’ve got a key, yeah?’  
He looked down at Koschei and noticed the casket in his friend’s hands. He could recognize two long bottles inside it, necks sticking out.  
With a raised eyebrow Theta looked into the grinning face in front of him.  
‘You’re coming with me now,’ Koschei said with darkened, sparkling blue eyes.  
Theta couldn’t help himself, he siled and let himself be led out of the room by his friend.  
‘You sneaked into the kitchens?’  
‘ ‘Course,’ Koschei grinned and threw a cheeky look back to him. ‘No risk too big for you,’ he added with overacted dramatic and got rewarded with Theta’s chuckle.  
‘Do you know me any different?’ Koschei asked to know with an amused grin, while he pushed open the double doors that led them into freedom.  
He still held Theta’s hand, even though the blonde didn’t need to be dragged with him anymore.  
Theta didn’t complain.  
But after a while he noticed Koschei was leading them away from the dusty ways and streets outside to the wide, red grasses of Gallifrey.  
‘Where are we going?’ he asked with wide opened eyes, sucking in the sight hungrily, but Koschei just grinned.  
‘I know a good spot.’  
Theta raised an eyebrow sceptical. ‘We’re in the middle of nowhere. You know a spot _here_?’  
The corners of Koschei’s mouth curled up to a badly hidden smirk when he nodded. Theta couldn’t stop himself from admiring him from the side, the blue eyes that lightened up in a venturous, sparkling way. He didn’t believe him exactly, but if he was honest with himself, it didn’t matter anyway. This grin on his friend’s –date’s – face, his hand in his, all of that had so much more importance right now. In this moment, he would’ve gone everywhere with him.  
Koschei came to a halt.  
‘There we are.’  
‘Here?’ Theta asked and looked around doubtfully. On first sight there was nothing to be found that would difference this piece of grass from all the others. But he noticed that Koschei was watching him carefully, so he kept on looking for a clue.  
Finally, all the pieces fit together like a puzzle and he asked with hesitation in his voice, ‘We’re… we’re _here_?’  
Koschei grinned widely and started rummaging about in his basket for a while, until he finally pulled out a huge, green blanket.  
‘I knew you’d get it eventually.’  
With mouth wide open Theta watched his friend trying to spread the blanket, until he finally grunted, ‘Don’t worry, I don’t need your help at all!’  
With a shake of his head the blonde brought his mind back into here and now and grabbed the endings of the blanket opposite to Koschei. With his help they finally won against the playful, untamed wind that had curled the sheet and managed to spread it on the soft, high grass.  
‘How did you find this spot again?’ Theta wanted to know while they sunk down on it and Koschei once again stuck his head into the basket he brought.  
‘Are you kidding me?’ he asked while offering his friend a richly ornamented glass made of crystal. Theta looked at it with another raised eyebrow, while the other poured in fuming liquid from one of the bottles.  
When someone caught them here with this, they’d be in a lot of trouble – As they were so often.  
‘I couldn’t forget this night for weeks. I’d still see it in my mind, right now, if I closed my eyes.’  
While listening to him, Theta slowly realized the reality of all of this. The steel blue in Koschei’s eyes was replaced by something so much warmer, something, the blonde, knew only few Gallifreyans would ever have the possibility to see – Real affection, with a passion warm as a bonfire, enthusiasm and joy the young genius rarely showed.  
Yes, this was real, it wasn’t one of Koschei’s moods as he suspected this morning.  
He had led them to the place where they first talked, in the Aurora night, when he asked him for the first time where he would go if he could.  
Theta smiled. He couldn’t stop himself. So much had changed since then, but somehow also nothing at all. Since that night they had been inseparable, two misfits against the rest of a world they didn’t need – And that didn’t need them.  
They had made plans, sunken into them, night for night, day for day, wanted to travel the universe, visit every star.  
He raised his glass.  
‘To us.’  
‘To us,’ Koschei smiled. ‘And the miracles we’ll see. Do.’  
Theta felt how the liquid – whatever it was that Koschei hat smuggled into his basket – warmed him up from the inside, sweet and sticky as honey or syrup it wandered through his body and left a pleasant feeling everywhere it went.  
The evening was perfect, the wind was blowing warm around them and the air smelled of freedom. It was a perfect little bubble filled with home and security right in the middle of the untamed freedom he had been craving since he could remember. And Koschei being here, the boy that combined both cravings inside of himself, security and adventure, home and freedom, it only made this evening even more perfect.  
As if he read his thoughts, Koschei smiled at him warmly, this smile, he only showed to him, so special, so honest.  
‘Tonight’s shooting star night.’  
‘Oh,’ Theta remarked surprised and looked up to the sky, which was darkening gradually.  
Koschei grinned. ‘Yeah, so think of a wish, will you?’  
Theta wondered if his young friend knew how his dark eyes could shine. How beautiful they looked in the spreading, pale moonlight, sparkling back to him. How his wry, content smile brightened up his whole, usually so serious, face. How much he loved to see him break every rule, with no effort at all, just this smile.  
Had a shooting star passed them by, in exactly this second, he would’ve wished for Koschei to see himself through his eyes. But in the blink of an eye, these thoughts were gone again, and Theta felt nothing but the knowledge of being absolutely, perfectly happy with this boy and all their joint plans.  
‘Nothing,’ he whispered, but before he could say more, Koschei had laid a finger on the blonde’s lips.  
‘Hush,’ he hissed. ‘Don’t tell me. Treat your wish like your name, otherwise it won’t come true.’  
Before Theta could even overthink his words, they had already tumbled out.   
‘I’d tell you my name, too.’  
Anxious, the blonde started chewing on his lower lip again. He didn’t regret his words, it wasn’t that, they were _true_ – But he feared Koschei’s reaction.  
Crazy, he thought silently to himself. He couldn’t remember to have ever been afraid of anyone’s reactions. Quite the opposite – Since he could remember, he had ignored them and followed his own path, had defied them, even provoked them with Koschei together.  
And now, here he sat, worried.  
But Koschei simply smiled.  
‘If this is supposed to be a proposal, I just want to remind you, we haven’t even had our first date. It’s a bit early, don’t you think?’  
A proposal.  
Theta laughed. The true name of a Time Lord – an actual Time Lord, as this was what they were becoming – was only known by the closest family – and their partners. He hadn’t been thinking that way, but now Koschei brought it up, the blonde realized without much surprise that the thought didn’t scare him.  
It felt like something that would inevitably happen. Tonight it would rain shooting stars, tomorrow the suns would rise, one day they’d marry.  
Koschei had moved closer to him, drew his thoughtful, young friend gently into his arms. Theta smiled quietly and snuggled up into the embrace, leant his head against the other’s chest.  
‘So this isn’t a date?’ Theta asked teasingly and felt his skin prickle wherever Koschei’s tender fingertips went.  
‘No,’ he finally grinned. ‘Not everything has to be a date, you see? We’re good friends!’  
‘We’re cuddling,’ Theta remarked and demonstratively snuggled up even deeper into the protecting arms of his ‘good friend’.  
‘Very good friends,’ Koschei gave back defiant, which made both of them laugh.  
‘But tomorrow’s a date, yeah?’ Theta finally wanted to know, still laughing a bit and his friend nodded with solemn earnestness.  
‘Of course! I keep my promises!’  
‘Okay,’ Theta said after a little while they had sat together, in perfectly comfortable silence, looking up to the sky. ‘I’ve got my wish.’  
‘Don’t tell me,’ Koschei insisted again, but Theta just shook his head, softly laughing.  
‘But you can fulfil it, not the shooting stars. I mean, how could they anyway, they’re just debris, passing by our atmos… - ‘  
Soft lips brushed his, made Theta forget about everything else. He blinked but remained motionless, once, twice, then he raised his head a bit and reciprocated the careful kiss with just as much tenderness. Both boys smiled at each other for a few moments, then they repeated their kiss. Almost hesitantly, Koschei deepened it then, obviously calmer now, that his friend hadn’t recoiled. Theta felt how one of his hands wandered up his back into his hair and then was drawn closer to the other boy.  
They laid back on the blanket below them, still intertwined, Koschei on his back, holding Theta close to himself, who with impatience began to yank on his shirt and kiss his way down on his neck.  
Koschei grinned, turned the both of them around, so he was lying above his blonde friend and then pulled the shirt over his head with a wink.  
Theta had never before felt like he did now. Desired and adult, save and yet free. His head swam in lust and emotions, he even felt tears in his eyes that could only originate from complete happiness. He simply couldn’t fight them and he didn’t want to, anyway.  
With Koschei, below the starlight, he lost his last touch of childish innocence, and tomorrow, after their ceremony that would turn them into official Time Lords, he’d fly away with him, into their future, now intertwined for the rest of time…  
Above them, thousands pieces of debris burned up to wonderful shooting stars, drew sparkling, beautiful tails in their afterglow, showed everything Theta had ever dreamt of, freedom, beauty, wideness, and went yet unnoticed.  
All of Theta’s wished were fulfilled anyway.  
And finally, they just lay there, around them nothing but the high, red grass, like a wall protecting them from the rest of Gallifrey, isolating them from something they never wanted to belong to in the first place.  
Theta had bedded his head on Koschei’s naked chest, smiling contently to the sky. He felt incredibly happy and just… complete, more than ever before and he felt deep inside his mind, that Koschei felt the same way.  
Inside his mind…  
Rassilon, he could feel Koschei! They had created a bond between each other like usually only completely qualified Time Lords could.  
Koschei next to him laughed hoarsely, he could feel his chest vibrating lightly and realized, the other had caught his thought.  
‘We always _did_ break all rules.’  
Theta nearly got overrun by the amount of deep affection in his chest, intertwining with his own. He had known, Koschei’s feelings for him must’ve been truly deep, but it was something else to actually _feel_ them himself, inside his mind, all around him, as present as his own and yet different, his own little bit of Koschei rooting inside of him, forever.  
‘Then let’s break this one, too,’ Theta replied with absolute serenity. All childish insecurity seemed to have left him forever after this night.  
And even though Koschei must’ve felt his intentions in his own mind, his eyes widened in surprise, when Theta propped up on his elbows to whisper his name in his friend’s – his partner’s – ear.  
Insecurity, Theta realized almost intuitive and with fascination, as the other’s feelings poured openly into him. The first and possibly only time he’d ever experience an insecure Koschei.  
‘I trust you,’ he explained calmly. ‘And I trust one day we’ll join in every way possible, anyway.’  
Koschei smiled in silence. Watched him, quietly, without even blinking, with those eyes that spoke of so much love, love Theta could now feel root deep inside himself.  
And after a few minutes, the blonde had already begun to sink into blissful sleep, he heard a question resonating on the inside of his mind.  
_‘What did you wish for?’  
_ Theta laughed softly, but only inside his head as his body was already feeling sleepy and heavy.  
‘ _I wished today was a date_ ,’ he replied simply. _‘I’d say we fulfilled that.’  
_ Koschei’s laugh had always been beautiful, but now it only seemed like an echo of the wonderful, wild sound dancing through Theta’s mind. Koschei’s laugh had its own colours, colours only created for him. He could’ve listened to it for eternity. And while he completely sunk into the sound, got lost in the colours, Koschei sent him another picture.  
A picture of himself, face up in the sky, sunken, lost in colours that now seemed blunt and pale compared to the ones he had seen in Koschei’s laugh.  
‘ _I wished for you to look at me like you look at the cosmos, just once,’_ Koschei confessed.  
‘ _I thought you didn’t want to tell me your wish,_ ’ Theta teased, but he felt his hearts warming.  
Koschei smiled.  
Crazy, how a smile could be transferred telepathically, filled with love and warmth and silent admiration, all those feelings that a smile had always inherited, but never truly shown.  
Theta would never see this smile with the same eyes ever again.  
‘Well, today we break all the rules,’ Koschei whispered softly and then offered Theta a metaphorical letter, pushed it gently inside the other boy’s mind. A letter with a single name on it.  
The blonde felt how the name anchored deep inside himself, became a part of him, forever. In this moment he knew, they had bonded for eternity.


End file.
